Sincerely Yours
by Fan Fan Girl
Summary: COMPLETE! Letters of lurve from Xelha to Kalas... :D
1. I

Dear Kalas,

Good morning, Kalas. Oh, I feel so silly writing this — how long it has been since we last met... I hardly know what to say. But I thought that I would write you a letter. If these humble lines find you, in that distant land...

My friend, what times we have seen and places we have been! You and I last met at Nekton, the Shrine of Spirits. Where everything began, remember?. That night, I was able to come back and say goodbye to your Guardian Spirit.

We parted ways the next morning. I never thought that our journey together would end that quickly, yet...

It's been months since then. How have you been? I hear that you are aiding Duke Calbren in Melodia's recovery. I hope that she's doing well. After all, she's been through so much... Her life must have been very troubled until now. If there's anyone to get her back on her feet, it's you, Kalas. The courage you showed in bringing her from the edge of madness was, to say the least, tremendous. I do admire you so...

Me, well, I've returned to Wazn as Ice Queen. It's been quite a shock for all of us, returning to the ground. We'll manage.

My people are strong. They have been for so for an entire millennium. It is not only the Ice Queen who suffered under her duty, but her subjects as well. My mother, my mother's mother, and all my ancestors, were blessed to rule such a resilient, hard-working nation. I hope that someday, you will visit us...

Please write back soon! I eagerly await word from you.

From, Xelha


	2. can't

Dear Kalas,

It's been almost two weeks since I sent my last letter to you. No reply came, so I guess you're busy with your work and life and, of course, Melodia...

It's just, Kalas... I just couldn't stop thinking about you. I had to send you another letter. You've been such a big part of my life, and I thought... I mean, at Nekton you...

And in the morning, you never said good-bye. You just... left. I felt so confused. Later I heard that you had left immediately with Duke Calbren for Mira, in order to take care of Melodia. Her condition, they said, was very delicate. Only a special touch could cure her.

I suppose... she wanted you, Kalas.

Kalas, I...

At the very least... it would be nice to hear back from you. I just can't believe that you and I could meet and then separate so easily... as though our lives had never touched at all.

Kalas, I wish you the best in the world.

Sincerely, Xelha


	3. hear

Kalas,

Please, please, give me some sign! I need to hear something from you... anything. Please. Are you there? Are you getting my letters?

Xelha


	4. you

Dear Kalas,

I can only assume that you aren't getting my letters. I waited, made myself wait, a whole month, and yet... nothing. You must not be receiving them, otherwise... I... I have been deceiving myself.

Kalas... I want to see you so much. Meet face to face, speak heart to heart. Time keeps passing, and I can't help but feel, _What happened to us?_

I thought... I mean...

Kalas... I just want to know. Maybe it's too late now. Did I ever really mean anything to you?

I've tried to hold these feelings back. I knew that if I let myself get too caught up in the dream, that I'd be awakened to a very, very lonely reality, but... it seems that I _have_ been fooling myself. Back in Moonguile Forest, Kalas, you held me... I thought you cared. I thought that you were finally responding to my feelings. And I've felt this way so long...

I poured out my heart, then. Believing that I could trust you with the deepest secrets of my heart — and I've wanted to tell you for so long, it's just...! Kalas... Were you not ready? Kalas, will you _ever_ be ready?

Because... I'll wait for you.

I've been waiting for you forever, Kalas. My destiny was entwined with yours from the day I was born. It hurts so much, thinking of us. Remembering the day I met you in Moonguile Forest, thinking, _It's him. He's the one._

I... always wanted to be with you, to protect you. That's all it was, at first. But then... Everything came crashing down around us, right? That's when I saw the real you. That's when I first loved you.

There, Kalas. I love you. I love you...!

I can say this... because... you will never read it...

I love you... You are everything to me. I would do anything... go to any lengths... for _you_. I'm faithful to you, Kalas, because I need you. You need—needed me... So I promised that I would never leave you...

And, then, you... left... me...

I remember... waking up that next morning in Mira. I couldn't wait to see you. Imagine my surprise when I heard that you had left already... I thought about going to see you, but... Barnette. My duties in Wazn. I had a life to begin, too.

But... I was so hurt. I thought you were glad to see me. Was it just an act, hugging me and whispering my name? I... After that, I thought, surely... Couldn't we start new lives together?

Kalas... I still do have hope. A part of me always will hope that you can hold me and call my name softly and mean it. But I have so very little faith now... No farewells or closure; and you departed with Melodia. Maybe... She'd been your companion for so very long...

Kalas. Is this it for us? Are we over? You and I, who never began...

If only things were different... If... if... I didn't let you go, would you be here now? What if you were by my side now, looking over my shoulder while your hand gently touched mine, reading this... _"...Oh, you love me, Xelha? That's funny, because I..." _

I...! I shouldn't be imagining such things. But I just can't help it. It hurts so much... like I've been stabbed... here in my empty heart...

I guess you didn't know... how selfish I am. I mean, the Earth is safe. I should be happy. Because we worked hard together, everyone. If you can live as a new man, isn't my part done? I will be content. Love you to the last breath of my life, and be content.

You...

Please, know that I am here, waiting... Someday—

I... I thank you for everything!

Yours Always, Xelha


	5. but

Dear Kalas,

Surprised to hear from me again?

I've been thinking a lot since my last letter, about everything. I feel so foolish... I'm sorry about what I said. When I first began contacting you, I tried to hold my emotions back because I knew how unwise it would be of me to confess. But I had been bearing my own passions so long that, one day, something inside me snapped, and before I knew it I was dashing another seal on another letter and sending it away. Please forgive me... Disregard what I've said.

But, Kalas, I do wish I could receive word from you. It bothered me... The silence.

Is my mail not reaching you?

Do you receive it, but cast it aside?

Do you read it, but choose not to reply...?

That thought scares me the most... You reading my words but discarding them. I... no. No. That's it.

I hope you're doing well. I'm eager to hear of Melodia's condition. She must be a handful. Is she recovering well emotionally?

And how is your hometown, Balancoire? What's it like coming back after all this time? You must have so many memories... And every face there, a familiar one. Everyone is just the way you remembered them, but you came back feeling so completely changed, didn't you?

I understand... Returning to Wazn was quite an experience. You see... before I left, and met you, I had never left my home... My only experiences were those of my ice castle and servants, and occasionally visits with my friends outside of home. Sometimes, my subjects don't feel like subjects. They are like friends to me. I'm glad...

When we went to other islands, like Anuenue and Alfard, the different cultures surprised me. I couldn't believe Geldoblame's high-handed way of dealing with his own people. Treating them as pawns, manipulating their loyalties — how awful! Kalas, did you notice?

My country is small... We are isolated and always covered in ice. We had our secret to guard, and we guarded it well. My people pledge their hearts to my rule not because of hungry dreams of conquest, but because of dignity. They are strong and wise, able to defend a thousand-year-old treasure against any threat. I am so proud of them... my country.

Maybe one of the reasons why we have endured so long is the demanding climate in which we live. It snows almost every day here in Wazn. It seems normal to me, since I have spent my entire childhood chasing snowflakes and building goofy snowmen here, but _everything_ down to our very homes are made of ice! You have to get used to the cold indoors, since the designs don't much allow for that, but the brilliant architecture of our buildings... just stunning.

Kalas, I want to show my homeland to you. It's much more beautiful than I can ever describe in words, so I want to prove it to you, personally. I want you to meet my friends, and see the sights of my childhood. Take you to the edges of my cold, little village and relive the peaceful days of the past...

There is one night each winter, just _one_ night, where you can go to the outskirts of the village and rest in the snow, feel ice against the warmth of your heart-warmed body; you gaze at the sky and see a hundred thousand constellations, gently sigh and dream of your loved one, then feel your breath catch as a shooting star flares past...

_Good night. _

Always Dreaming of You, Xelha


	6. can

Dear Kalas,

It feels so nice to be writing to you again. This feeling can't be named, but it's as though... I'm being somehow slowly healed. I can't see you, and I can't hear you, but I can speak to you and believe that I'm being heard. Maybe someday you'll understand.

And, Kalas, I write to you because I'm lonely. My friends, Barnette and everybody, are always here for me, but I feel that there is some emptiness in my life. Like I have a need being unsatisfied. But you know the funny thing? When I was out traveling the world with you and Gibari and Lyude, the Great Mizuti and Savyna... those were the best days of my life. Half the time I was scared out of my wits, having to save the world and all, but being with all of you fulfilled me.

When you left Nekton that morning, why didn't you say goodbye to any of us? You matter more than anything to all of us, but you went home without a single word. Why? We risked our lives every day for you, and for some reason you think we wouldn't care?

I just don't understand... But I forgive you.

And because you weren't there, I'll tell you about _our_ goodbyes.

That day was... something I'll never forget as long as I live. At last, we all realized what we meant to each other, and that every day we had spent in each others' presence was a treasure to forever cherish in our memories. Really, that the six of us could have met under such circumstances, it could only be fate.

Fate... Destiny...? We kept asking ourselves why.

...I, I know why...

Saying goodbye to Mizuti, who is always surrounded by a glow, was bitter-sweet. Mizuti doesn't give up and will go to the ends of the earth to help her friends and family. I'm glad to see her strike out on her own only because I know that she will have a million adventures and mature into an amazing young lady. Her life will be good. But... will I ever see her again? I miss that silly, tinkling voice and those reeling arms; sitting here at my desk I can only look into the candlelight and reminisce.

Goodbye, Great Mizuti. I'm letting you go... I'm letting you go out into the world to grow up and change everything around you. Never let your friends down and... be yourself. Goodbye.

Oh... I have to put my pen down. Hold on.

Next came Lyude, who strolled down the shady path, a confident grin on his kind face. Picturesque. And I was so weak. My friends were disappearing. I remember that he looked at me and knew, and said, "I see. You don't want this to end, do you?"

I shook my head; it was all I could do.

"Xelha..." He called to me gently. "Xelha, could it be that you are just as sad as I? I've always wanted to say it, though I never could before, but you have been an irreplaceable friend to me. I cannot thank you enough for comforting me on this journey." He grinned, and a light began to sparkle in his eyes. "Without you, I would still be a weak, lonely soldier, rallying against the forces of evil only to fail in my utter helplessness. You and the others taught me inner strength. I can stand proudly on my own two feet. I am my own man now — I can do things!"

The growing, twisting ache in my heart was at once terrible and wonderful. How could he say such things? I hugged him. Lyude, he doesn't know how happy I was to see what a strong man he became. He didn't succumb to his fears and demons... he conquered them and became an indomitable leader. I've learned so much. Lyude, _thank you_.

One day I hope to go and see him, Kalas, in the Empire. Do you want to go together? We'll visit him working in Alfard, and catch him with his new, radiant expression of self-assurance, see the beautiful glow in his eyes — the look of someone soaring.

Aren't you happy for him? I am. I'm so glad I met him. He was a good friend to me... When we were out alone, looking for you, he encouraged me. _Don't give up. We will help him no matter what._

He cared about you, too.

I want to thank Lyude, but it's not enough. He, too, must leave. He must embark on a new life, new dreams, new possibilities... I sigh. Thank you. Goodbye.

I still can't believe that they are gone from my life... We used to spend every blessed day together. We were close; we argued but we also forgave each other. And each moment our situation seemed more intense and more hopeless, a miracle occurred and the fear in our weak hearts turned us to each other, and we loved one another. I miss that bond... Why did it all have to end? Why am I here in my castle, alone in the dark, when I want to bathe in the healing light of true friendship? I want to be with you, Kalas, but you're gone, too. I try to believe that we will meet again...

"Kalas is gone," I remember hearing Savyna say. At that time, the pain and shock was still raw; I feel the crushing in my heart almost as though it were yesterday.

That morning, I had been on my way to your room, and I was intercepted by Gibari. He told me about the letter, reporting the information that Kalas had already left for Balancoire with Melodia and Duke Calbren. Melodia was in a weakly condition, it stated, and had to be treated at once. I was incredulous, until I read it for myself. My heart broke. Why?

When we were parting ways, Savyna tried to comfort me in her own, hard way. She said, "He was acting strange last night, after his Spirit departed. Barely spoke the entire night. To anyone."

I hung my head, staring blearily at the ground.

"_Xelha_."

Something in her voice forced me to look back up; its severity demanded my attention but was somehow low and quiet. "Savyna...?"

Her gaze was like a wall of steel pressing and her eyes flashed mysteriously. "Don't be unhappy. You have lost something important to you, but that is not an excuse to become bitter. Instead, just remember."

For all Savyna's cold and callous features, inside the many buffers that she has built up is a breathing, caring, loving human being. When she told me not to become bitter, I _honestly_ _tried_ _not to_. When I came back to Wazn and began to reflect on my adventures with you and the others, it took all of my will to touch those memories and think, _What amazing times those were,_ instead of the sullen, _Why couldn't it have ended differently_...

Savyna gave me important advice that day. I thank her for it, and believe that she has travelled a very long, trying path to have been able to say it. She, like Lyude, has come far... No longer the soulless, purposeless killing machine of the Empire, she is now a woman capable of depending on her own heart to make decisions and protecting the lives of others. Her story truly inspires. For Savyna, once the Lady Death who believed only in the blood-seeking claws of her hands, has changed her ways. Still she has trouble showing affection... but she has developed wisdom beyond herself.

So, even though I tremble at the sound of your name, I take her words to heart and rely on her strength. She had only a small smile to offer that morning, containing not comfort or cynicism, but hope. I am amazed, and thank her.

And so another friend departs to rebuild her life. Savyna, goodbye.

Kalas... Maybe now you begin to see what you missed. Our friends... Everyone... They turned over a new leaf that next morning. Even I have learned to put the sufferings of the past away and begin again. Burying our pasts... I know, I told you in Moonguile Forest that our world was guilty of burying our sins in shamed centuries.

But that's different! During our quest, we all confronted our vices and conquered them. Doesn't that make you proud? I saw our friends changed; I wanted you to see, too!

Kalas... recalling that day and writing it all out for you from memory... it makes me think. Could it be that you were my vice? I believed that you were my reason, my all... But this passion...

No! I can never be with you, but I will never stop loving you. My vice is this: the instability of my faithfulness. That is what I have to overcome. Even though we cannot meet, or even communicate, I will remain true to you. Let me show you how.

You see, after Savyna embarked upon her new path, I was left nearly alone in our camp. Others who had gathered to say goodbye to the Guardian Spirit had left by this time, everyone busy with his or her own responsibilities. Barnette, glad to have me back from my supposed death, was anxious to leave as well. But I lingered until noon. _Maybe Kalas will come back._ That's what I thought.

Eventually, I realized that no matter the shock I felt, I had a different life to return to in Wazn. Knowing that Gibari would be in camp still I headed there, feeling as though my emotions would drain my very life-force away.

I found him seated in a small, dark clearing, back turned to me. Unlike the other members of our group, he had no great mission to undertake. Free to spend his time how he liked, he still lingered in the camp.

I found him wearing the sourest, darkest, bitterest look I have ever seen. I gasped, but when he saw me his features grew normal and the usual benign countenance settled in. He almost began to look sad, and asked, "Xelha. Why did he do it?"

Kalas, you know, I was genuinely frightened at first. You were the one he was mad at. You!

"It's unbelievable. That kid... is he for real? After telling you this morning, I just couldn't let it go."

My voice was soft and resigned when I replied. "Gibari... I have to go home. There's nothing I can do about Kalas. I wanted to say goodbye, but..."

He nodded. "Xelha. You really care about him, don't you? Go after him."

I almost feel wet tears on my skin again. My heart twists in a sweet, dreadful way — as though hope flutters up pathetically and then falls back twisted to the ground. "I can't." Believe me, Kalas, I wanted to, but... You chose to do what you did for a reason, didn't you?

Looking grave, he stared steadily at me. "Xelha, then I will for you."

_W-what? _

I asked in surprise, "Wait, what?"

He folded his arms across his chest and tilted his head to the side. "That kid really ticks me off sometimes. He's got a good thing here, and he just throws it away. He can't even remember that a cute girl like you would have feelings. After yesterday, you would think—"

"Gibari! P-please... don't." I caught my breath and pleaded with him. "Tell him... Tell him that... I don't have anything to say. Tell him nothing."

"Xelha..."

"I want to live a good life... I want him to, also. I don't want him to be bothered by some message from me... Not now. We'll probably be able to meet later, right? I can write to him. It will turn out fine in the end."

"Xelha..." Concern clouded his eyes.

"I..." I tried to be strong, but I broke down faster than I thought I would under his stare.

At last Gibari enwrapped me in a bear hug. I began to sob, letting out my frustrations, sadness, and feelings of betrayal, loss, shock. Life seemed so cruel. I wondered how I would heal. Although my tears begin dampened Gibari's clothes, he just patted my head, silent.

Do you understand what you missed? Gibari has become a brother, one who was there for me when I felt most alone. I will forever be indebted to him. Without his support, would I have been able to stand? I thank you, too, Gibari.

We said our goodbyes later, when my tears were exhausted. I left for Wazn; he for Duke Calbren's mansion. Did you meet him, Kalas? What did he tell you? Was he angry? Sad?

These things... I wonder every day.

Maybe I'll find out...

I'm still waiting... I won't ever stop. Kalas...

Goodbye.

Confused but Faithful, Xelha


	7. feel

Dear Kalas,

There's something I wanted to ask you. I was thinking about it, and wondered what you would say.

Hey, Kalas, in the whole entire world, where is your favorite place?

I was wondering... Where would it be? Would it be in Balancoire, by the river running through town? You must have played there as a boy. With your childhood friend — it was Trill, right? Maybe you splashed around in the water all day with her, and when night came you sat by the river's edge alone. Did you watch the glimmer of moonlight on the water's flowing surface?

Your favorite place, is it in the fields outside the city? You told us once that you and Fee played there. I can imagine you romping in the green grass with your brother. Those times of peace... how precious. When you came back as a young man, was it very different from before?

Or, perhaps, your grandfather's workshop. I know that he was important to you. When you are feeling sad or alone, you go there and feel that you are loved. Because your grandfather and Fee are watching over you. There are many people in this world and the next who love you and believe in you. Rest in that workshop. Feel safe.

Kalas...

Do you know where my favorite place is?

At first, I thought it would be the wintry spot I described in one of my previous letters. It was always a place where I could go and look at the night sky, and realize how small and lost my life actually was in the vast histories of our world. There I dreamed my dreams. I made up for the boredom of childhood by pretending to leave for secret adventures. And then I really left.

And met _you_.

I've changed a lot. I don't dream nearly as much; instead I achieve my goals and do what is good. At least, I try.

Am I doing a good job, for a queen? My mother — you never met her, Kalas — she's already dead. She was a kind leader, very understanding. Sometimes, I feel so very alone.

I'm glad I met you. In journeying with together, I found my real favorite place.

Do you know where?

It's out _there_. It's standing by the Ocean, taking wet sand in my fingers, delighting in the cool rush of the waves skipping over my feet.

It's because... this Ocean is part of me. It is something that I have achieved by my strength, and yours. It will always be symbol of our relationship and sacrifices, and an eternal blessing to the world. Through this you give me courage. Thank you.

Sincerely, Xelha


	8. you?

Dear Kalas,

I don't know why I keep writing these. You must laugh every time the mail comes in. Do you get tired of hearing from me?

There isn't much to do, alone in these castle walls. Sometimes I venture outside to see my friends and sometimes I stay inside to think.

I am being healed, though. I like to remember you. But there was one time...

You. You with cold, blue-black eyes... Your wings, white and too bright to look at... You were a demon.

Yes... sometimes I think about this.

Those were hard times. You are... a changed man now. You would fight for your friends, just as we struggled so desperately to save you. But when you threatened us, brandishing your swords with streaks of white hate flashing in your eyes, I didn't know what to do. I wanted so much to help you, Kalas. I knew at last the fearsome power which had taken you captive.

But... after the battle, having to raise a hand and strike the one you love...

It was just a simple mirror, but hearing your screams almost killed me. I thought that _you_ would die.

But it was by Barnette's words! She told me later that she hadn't believed that I could've saved you, not even with the Ocean Mirror. That I would have had to give up on you in order to save the world...

I'm so thankful that you were able to be strong. If the inner strength that sustains you hadn't come out, the world would be... You would be...

Kalas, you truly are a new man, aren't you? Given this second chance, how will you rebuild your life? I think... that you are going to help Melodia recover her own shattered days. After all, she was ensnared deeper than anybody in Malpercio's evil plans. She's been tainted badly... Please help her. I believe in you.

I believe that you are a good man!

Sincerely, Xelha


	9. When

Dear Kalas,

Good morning.

When I opened a window this morning, a breeze slipped in. It danced by and felt wonderful.

Summer has come. In Wazn, that doesn't mean much, but the snow ceases to fall and the sky becomes a cloudless, sparkling blue. Although the ground remains white, the air seems almost fragrant and warm.

I rode on the White Dragon today. I got permission for Barnette and went out over the Ocean, skimming over the surface for what felt like such a long time. It was quiet, and so calming... Being careful, I could dip my fingers into the water and create long trails of foam.

We returned and I stood on the edge of the island, looking outward. The cool wind of Wazn, my icy land, twirled around.

These days are the best.

Kalas, I hope you are happy where you are. If I stare a long time, sometimes I almost feel as though I can see your homeland. I know I can't, really, but...!

Well... I smiled as I wrote this letter.

From, Xelha


	10. we

Dear Kalas,

How are you doing? I've been well recently. A little lonely, but I'm okay. Sometimes I wonder where all these letters go, you know? But writing to you has done something special for me. I was devastated at first that I could never speak to you again. I would look out my castle windows, feeling like a prisoner rather than a queen... More than anything else, I wanted to be with you.

And I _still_ want to be with you! But... that just can't be, and I've learned to accept the truth. Instead, I write to you and pretend that you can hear me. I like to think that you cared for me, so I unburden my heart to you.

Well, Kalas...

The other day, Barnette approached me. "Queen Xelha, you haven't been in a relationship for years." No pressure, she said, but I wouldn't be so lonely if I had someone, and besides it would cheer my people's hearts.

I don't know what to do...

I don't care who she has in mind; I really don't want to get into a romantic relationship. Not with someone else... I've been writing to you for over a year now, but have never once received a reply. It's not that I've given up on you... I mean...

But... I _do_ think that it would be nice to have a family. What... what about you?

I think... I would like children. I want to be a mother. I want that experience...

Is that a lost dream...? What should I do?

I'm trying to grow up now. You are a part of me that will never die, but must I move on? I try to go forward in my own way but I can't, _I can't_. Don't leave me, Kalas...

I don't want to live... this empty existence... without you. I don't want to send love letters to a ghost all my life... Alone, I am helpless... not myself...

I... I can't be writing this. It's not right! I have to fight it...! I need to be alone, on my own, independent. I have to stand by myself.

Oh, Kalas... I love you. My future seems so black without you here. There's nothing I can do... I love you... Please give me strength. I'm waiting.

Sincerely Yours, Xelha


	11. dream

Queen Xelha of Wazn,

I have addressed this letter to you for a very important reason. I apologize for such short notice, but I believe I have waited far too long in contacting you. Waiting any further would not only be detrimental to me and my household, but most of all to you.

I, Duke Calbren of Mira, have a confession to make.

I have been reading your personal notes to Kalas. As I received them one by one, I kept them to myself and was unable to refrain from reading them. I never showed the letters to anyone and keep them to this day in a secret place.

Queen Xelha, before I beg your forgiveness, please allow me to explain.

Nearly a year and a half ago, Kalas and his Guardian Spirit parted ways. He summoned Melodia and my humble self to the event, and I was glad, hoping that afterwards I might have a word with the young man. As you might be aware, my granddaughter had been struggling to live normally after the Malpercio calamity, but that young man, whom she once plotted with, seemed to have a soothing effect on her. I planned to invite Kalas to live in our mansion in Balancoire. With him in the house, surely Melodia could recover.

The only obstacle in my way was you, I'm afraid. At that time, I didn't want to hurt one such as you, but obsessive concern for Melodia clouded my judgment. It was obvious that you and Kalas were lovers. I figured that he already had plans with you and would certainly refuse my invitation, but I asked anyway.

To my great surprise, he accepted the offer without a moment's hesitation. I took advantage of the situation and the three of us left the very next morning; considering the circumstances, we had to get away quickly before he could change his mind. Please do not think ill of me. My poor Melodia was suffering, after all.

We lived fairly happily together in the mansion. Kalas was rather quiet at first, but when he became accustomed to our home, he livened up. Delighted to see his contentment and Melodia's drastic improvements, I prayed that nothing would shatter our happiness. Then your first letter entered our household.

I was desperate to keep Kalas on our side. Without breaking its seal, I stored the letter away, and promptly forgot about it. Yet again you attempted to contact him. This time, frustrated, I opened it myself and read the contents. Seeing only a friendly greeting, I believed that given time you would leave us alone.

I was wrong. One message after another arrived at our gates and I shamelessly opened each and every one. I began to realize that you cared about this young man deeply, and that I was doing a great wrong to all involved by keeping your words from him. At the arrival of your most recent note, I was moved to discontinue my atrocious actions. That the direction of your life be changed by your relationship with this young man is no small matter, and certainly not one that I should trifle with.

I now beg your forgiveness, Queen Xelha. Melodia has quite recovered; she has developed into a healthy, beautiful young woman because of Kalas' presence. She flourishes under him, but her affection is misplaced if he belongs to you.

Of yet, Kalas knows nothing about your communications. I have written to let you know what I have done, and now it is up to you to decide the next course of action. Please accept my sincerest apologies.

Duke Calbren


	12. what

To Duke Calbren,

I'm shocked to hear your story, sir, but thank you for informing me. I forgive you. Yet I can't allow this affair to go on longer than necessary... I've decided what I would like you to do with the letters.

Please burn them. I would like them to be destroyed.

Send my best regards to Melodia and the members of your household.

The Ice Queen


	13. do

Dear Queen Xelha,

I was pleased to receive such a prompt reply, but I cannot help but worry that I have offended you. You have requested that I burn your letters to Kalas. I am afraid that I cannot do that, as your words are treasures to be preserved. Such eloquence and emotion does not deserve to be turned to ashes.

In return and apology, I have decided to send a small band of diplomats from my court to yours. It will merely be a visit of formalities, so that my people may acknowledge and befriend yours. Wazn will surely be a country of fascination. Please accept the gifts I send.

As well as court officials, I also plan to have Kalas go on the journey. Later today, I will ask him to accompany the others and meet with you in Wazn. I have already made arrangements to send them on their way. Believe me when I say that I am eager to compensate for my wrongdoings.

Thank you for your time.

Duke Calbren


	14. they

To Duke Calbren,

I thank you for sending your envoy to us here in Wazn. Our country may seem cold and unfriendly to some outsiders, but your officials managed to stay warm and enjoy themselves marvelously. They were delightful guests to entertain, and I would not hesitate to meet them again.

Also, thank you for the gifts from Reverence. Our children will be reading those remarkable storybooks for years to come. I appreciate all that you've done. Please don't delay in visiting us yourself.

By the way, please do burn the letters. Kalas didn't come.

The Ice Queen


	15. see?

Dear Queen Xelha,

I was surprised to hear that Kalas never arrived in Wazn! He departed with the group, and returned the very same day they did. He said nothing of his actual whereabouts, until I approached and questioned him. The boy informed me that he had recalled some business to take care of, and removed himself from the Wazn party.

His actions displease me. I am sorry for any anxiety you might have suffered, Queen Xelha. I plan to make up for this unfortunate event with an even better idea: I will give your letters to Kalas directly, and he shall see for himself that he must speak to you.

Soon you will find that is the best action to be taken. Once he discovers how the situation stands, no doubt he will make a decision. It is going to be quiet without him here, but Melodia and I must learn to cope. I wish only the best for the two of you. Continue to write from your heart, and he will be yours.

Do your best, and I wish you good luck!

Duke Calbren


	16. Don't

Duke Calbren,

I have to persuade you that you mustn't give Kalas my letters! I believe that it wouldn't be wise; rather, it may be harmful to all of us. Please cease what you've planned to do and listen to me.

Keep the letters safely unread, or burn them. Please abide by my wishes!

Thank you...

The Ice Queen


	17. touch

Queen Xelha,

My dear, I am afraid that I must disagree with your wishes. Giving him the letters can only benefit the two of you. Thus, I have _just_ placed all of them in his hands, only moments ago. Do not worry.

I have finally been able to redeem myself after struggling with guilt for so long, and I hope that you do not remember me with bitterness. This shall be my final letter to you. Please live a good life.

Duke Calbren


	18. my

Duke Calbren,

Please... stop! Don't give Kalas the letters! Please!

If you do... I, I don't know what will happen! I think that it would be better if you didn't tell him anything. Please just leave us be and burn all my words. I can't believe this... What if... what if it's already too late? Please, don't...!

Xelha


	19. heart

Xelha,

Hey. It's me, Kalas.

I don't really know what to say. Never been good at these kinds of things. Heh...

I'm no prolific writer or anything, so just deal with it, okay?

Well, I got your nine letters from the duke the other day and read them all. What a stack that was! You practically wrote a novel to me. Guess you got a lot of free time over there, huh?

Yeah, uh... Don't exactly know what to say. I think I'll end this now. My hand's starting to hurt, anyway.

Kalas


	20. It

Dear Kalas,

I am glad to hear from you. How are you?

It is a surprise to hear from you after all this time. I hope you are doing well in Mira. Winter is nearing now, so you had better try to keep warm.

I feel as though I am repeating myself in asking this, but... how is Melodia? And Duke Calbren, too; I haven't heard from him in quite awhile. Yet he had said something about Melodia being much better than before... That's wonderful to hear. No doubt you've worked your magic on her.

Please write back soon.

From, Xelha


	21. hurts

Xelha,

Hey. Me again.

I'm doing pretty fine over here, how 'bout yourself? It's starting to get pretty cold here; I mean, we even had a mini snowstorm a few days back. Melodia caught a cold and has been sleeping ever since. Dang, she's fragile. It always amazes me.

I guess Wazn's gotta be frozen solid by now. How do you put up with it, seriously? I'd be an ice cube in no time flat.

And about your question... Melodia's okay. And I'm not working any magic on her, really! Magic is for weirdoes — I'd feel silly just picking up that pansy wand of yours.

You know, we weren't too sure about Melodia at first. Her health declined for such a long time that we almost thought we couldn't bring her back. I used to have to sit with her every day... But now, she's just as normal, pretty, and nice as you.

Heh. Kidding.

The duke is doing fine. Nothing new around here.

Kalas


	22. too

Dear Kalas,

I'm happy that you wrote back...! I don't even know what to say... I almost couldn't believe it at first. Just, thank you.

Please be careful when you go out, Kalas! Don't let yourself catch something nasty! And please look after Melodia well. Duke Calbren seems to have invested a lot of time in the two of you... It would be terrible if something were to happen.

I can deal with chilly weather because I grew up in it. You two, on the other hand, are a different story. Be sure to wear your mittens when going out!

Hey, Kalas... When you were treating Melodia's illness... what were you thinking? Did the two of you talk? I suppose I'm just a little... um, curious. So many long hours spent sitting by her side, the two of you must have filled the time doing... something.

Now... Well... What are you plans? Now that Melodia has recovered, what do you intend to do with your life? Someone like you could go anywhere, do anything.

Well, no matter what, you'll be fine. I'm so glad... Good luck.

And, Kalas... I want to say thank you for being my friend.

Sincerely, Xelha


	23. much

Xelha,

Me, Kalas, again.

How ya been? The winter storms are beginning to clear out here, and I guess I'm pretty happy about that. I can't wait to see spring again. I like green grass and little flowers, though I hate to admit it. You remember when you asked me about my favorite place? It's not the field where I played with Fee... but that _is_ a special place for me.

If you ever come back to Mira, I might show you those fields. If it's not too much of a hassle, that is.

And, hey! Like I'm gonna wear mittens! What, do you think I'm Lyude or somebody? Hey, did you ever see his mittens, anyway? The ones with the little kitten faces sewn on them? That guy, I tell you...

Also, Xelha, what's with this "be careful, a lot of time has been invested in you" stuff? If you're worried that I'm going to go around screwing things up, then have no fear. I may have betrayed my friends to summon an evil god once or twice, but really, I'm not as stupid as you might think.

...Or maybe I am.

Well, whatever.

Anyway, Xelha. Is that a little jealousy I'm detecting? Why are you so curious about Melodia? Hah. I'll tell you what I thought when I was at her side.

_Why do I have to be here if she's sleeping? I'd rather finish sewing those adorable kittens onto my mittens._

Hmph. No, really... I don't have any feelings for her. I don't know why everyone thinks that... It's not true, okay!?

The only reason why I helped Melodia get back to normal in the first place is that I owed her one. If I hadn't handed that End Magnus to her in the first place, none of this would've even happened. It's my fault, and I'm just trying to make up for it. There. You still want to be my friend?

Xelha... Of course you want to be my friend, right? I just don't get you sometimes.

By the way, I don't know what I'll do with my life. I'm thinking about moving out of this mansion and back into the house Gramps and Fee and I used to share. I think I'll like it better there. Now that I'm back in Balancoire, I can go back to my own home anytime, but I haven't made any big repairs there yet.

My life's pretty good. I could end up staying here forever.

Kalas


	24. Oh no

Dear Kalas,

I think that Lyude's would look cute on you, but you know that I was just joking about the mittens... right? Hehe!

And, will you really stay in Mira the rest of your life? I mean... maybe, someday, you could visit Wazn... I would love to meet with you in Balancoire, but Barnette worries... You understand, don't you? I can't leave my throne. That's all...

Kalas, do the events of our journey still bother you? You sounded almost bitter... Oh, please don't worry. There's nothing to feel sorry about anymore! We've set everything right, thanks to you. We might have been enemies once, but you came to your senses and fought more fiercely than ever; after that, everything fell into place. Even the Ocean is back.

Please don't think that you are weak, because... you turned out to be the strongest of all of us.

And I'll always want to be your friend!

Take care...

Sincerely, Xelha


	25. You've

Xelha,

Hey, thanks. But I'm not bitter. Just tired of having to feel, maybe?

Oh, I moved into my own house the other day. And let me tell you, am I glad to be home! It's a pain to dust, sweep up all the ash, and wash the windows, but I feel useful. I bet Gramps is watching me. That's a good feeling.

And you know what? After our house was burned, nobody in Balancoire even volunteered to restore it. Bunch of selfish, lazy morons... They locked the house up and left it to rot. Nobody could live there anymore. And me? After I joined up with Melodia, I stayed with my friend, Trill, and worked part-time at her family's diner. Nobody in Balancoire really liked me, especially the suspicious old folks, so I was on my own for two whole years.

Yeah. It was hard coming back. Sometimes I think I am the monster they call me.

But at least I have a home, you know? The rugs on the floor are all smoldered to smithereens, and the walls are blacker than soot, but I can sleep in peace. That's what's up with me.

Kalas


	26. touched!

Dear Kalas,

Hi there! Thanks for telling me about your home in Mira. I worry about you sometimes... It's good to know that you've found your place.

Oh, and guess what? I just received word from Gibari and Savyna in the mail, and they're planning to visit me here in Wazn in a month or so! They explained that they wanted to stop by and say hello, maybe reminisce about our good old times. Of course, I've accepted. The thought of seeing my friends delights me!

I'm so excited that I could hardly wait to tell you... I can't wait to have familiar voices echoing in my halls again. Things will change when Savyna and Gibari come! Isn't it exciting?

And, well... Do you like the, um, snow?

From, Xelha


	27. Does

Xelha,

Really now. You want me to swing by, too? I guess I could stop and see you if I have time. I don't know, though, I'm a busy guy...

Aw, what the heck! I'll drop by some time in the next couple of weeks. See you then.

Kalas


	28. yours

Dear Kalas,

Ah... You've decided to come too...? I was going to invite you, but... Well, I don't know... I...

I'm thrilled, Kalas. I hope you'll like it here... I have a lot I want to show you, you'll see... Oh, please like it! Will you like it?

I mean, the chairs are all frozen and the sofas are hard, and you can't feel warm even tucked deep into bed, and, and, we drink hot beverages with ice cubes in them, and it will be totally different than you're used to, and... I wonder what will happen...? Oh!

I just... can't wait to see you after all this time! It's like a dream come true! I do hope that your trip is a safe one...

Eagerly Awaiting, Xelha


	29. hurt

To Kalas,

Thank you for visiting this week.

I think it would be good if you didn't come again. Sorry.

Xelha


	30. too?

Xelha,

It's me here.

Listen... You know... I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I was stupid and just messed up again... I really should have stayed this time.

I want to tell you the whole story, Xelha, but I can't. I mean...

It's just...

Well, just don't stay mad at me, okay? I really don't want to hurt you. You're the last person I want to hurt.

I'm sorry.

I like Wazn.

Please say sorry to Gibari and Savyna too for me.

Kalas


	31. You're

Dear Kalas,

Am I really the last person you want to hurt? Or am I really the person you want to hurt the most? Kalas, I'm so sorry, I don't want to sound cold, but I just can't help but wonder...

You... Why? I don't understand... Why do you put me through this? What do you get out of it?

When you came, I was so glad to see you... After meeting Savyna and Gibari, I didn't think I could get any happier. I nearly melted when we met, after all this time, after all we've gone through... To think, you read all the letters I sent and knew what you were doing and still... you were playing the whole time...

I'm so embarrassed. I can hardly stand to say it. Savyna warned me, you see. To keep my head on straight and "think rationally." You've been making my head spin and heart go crazy for years... I couldn't think in a straight line from point A to point B if you gave me anything in the world. How could I be so naive? How could I fall that hard?

You were only there with us for a few days but I was giddy for hours on end. And after that last dinner... I got to go outside alone with you, out in the courtyard, with the snow falling all around... I was nervous as we spoke, but you were so warm in your manner that I felt some connection. And I just wanted to know, it had been bothering me for so long, I just had to know... I quietly asked why you left.

And then...

Then...

I close my eyes and believe that the next moment was the best and worst of my life. I want it to not be a lie. More than anything, I want it to be true and real. If only...

And then the dream died and you just ran away again, Kalas. Why?

Isn't it obvious how I feel about you...? Do you understand the consequences of your actions? Are you just not ready for commitment? What is it?

No... I'm tired of asking questions. My faith is crumbling. Please don't stomp on my feelings... Just... Maybe we shouldn't write anymore...

Xelha


	32. gone

Xelha,

Man. I really screwed things up.

I _am_ going to keep writing to you, and you _are_ going to hear me out. Got it? Now listen up.

I'm sorry.

I messed up again.

You may never forgive me after this...

But I'm acknowledging that I messed up, and I wanna tell you why!

I don't even know where to start; it's so hard to explain. I've never really thought I'd have to express these kinds of feelings. But I guess I should start from the beginning.

The truth is... I really do care about you, Xelha. You mean a lot to me. More than anyone, I guess. Maybe even more than Gramps and Fee.

You see, I mean, that's what was wrong. After we saved the world and all, you had to release the Ocean and I was left alone. By that time you had become special to me. Even though you promised to never leave me, suddenly you were gone. I couldn't even believe how depressed I got. And I thought, _All__ because of Xelha_

Yeah, I know... But I realized that I liked you.

I thought that I would never be able to see you again after you released the Ocean. That was tough... By that time, I knew how you really felt about me and I sorta felt the same. But even though I thought our time was up, the day my Guardian Spirit went home all of the sudden there you were before my eyes again. I don't know. It felt right to hug you... I didn't want to let you go ever again, but we had to. I made myself.

I can't explain everything I felt that day. My Guardian Spirit left. You came back. I had a ton to think about. But even though I wanted to be with you again, I knew I didn't want to be hurt anymore.

The worst thing that ever happened to me was when Gramps and Fee, the anchors of my life, disappeared. I felt like dying every day. Pretty soon my blood ran so hot with vengeance that I would have sold any number of souls to kill Giacomo and his goons. I never really thought about how important my family was while they were alive, but when I lost them I was powerless. The other people in Mira didn't feel sorry for me because I only had one wing. But there I was dying alone without the two people I loved.

You guys pulled me out of that. I'm alive because of you all.

A long time ago, you wrote me that letter about saying goodbye. I get it now, and I'm grateful to everyone. I know how important they all were in defeating Malpercio. I won't forget... I wouldn't have had any strength without them.

And you wrote me about me being evil. It was you who helped me with that one, Xelha. You gave me strength, just like Gramps and Fee always did. When I was lost in the darkest pit of night, you were there to save me. You've been so good.

And so I let you go... I had another chance at life, and a new promise and something like hope. But I ran to Balancoire when Duke Calbren asked me. It's because I was afraid of losing you, Xelha.

I just couldn't do that. Caring for someone means investing a part of your self in them. A huge chunk of my heart was ripped away when Gramps and Fee left; you replenished that empty space. But if you were to ever be taken from me again, just how would I survive?

I wanted to get away before you could become that important. I'm sorry that I hurt you so much, Xelha. Duke Calbren's withholding of your letters wasn't my fault, but my indifference was. I forced myself to be dead to you. I had to.

Gibari did talk to me in Balancoire, you know... He showed up on our doorstep, wanting me to remember you and apologize. I couldn't say "no" right to his face but I didn't intend to contact you at all. All those years... I would have avoided you anyway. I'm sorry about that. You gotta understand.

But then we just sort of started writing letters to each other, right? Soon my favorite place was just sitting on the stool in my room, reading your words, thinking about your life and your kingdom. I started wanting to see you again, but when I got to Wazn, Gibari told me that you still had feelings for me and I had better not break your heart. That's kind of sobering to hear from an angry Gibari. But you know me... I had to go and push the limits. I was nervous going out in the snow with you that night, too, Xelha.

Man. That was the first time I had ever really, _really_ kissed a girl. It sounds crazy, but I see you're the only one who... who I can be with. That's what I was thinking then, too — that someone like you can never be replaced. Xelha, maybe you're... my reason for living...?

I don't know how to say this, but it felt really good. I liked being with you. You were all blushing and cute, and in my arms, you looked happy. I was sort of happy too, and then I realized—

And I panicked, and I ran away.

You gotta forgive me, Xelha. You don't ever have to write to me again, but please know that I'm sorry for all I've done. I've been so impulsive; I should have learned how to let go after Gramps and Fee died. I should have been brave. If I ever have to, then I think one day I will be able to let go without dying... if you'll believe me.

Kalas


	33. and

Dear Kalas,

Oh...

Kalas...

Why didn't you just tell me from the start... that you felt that way?

I didn't know... I'm sorry for what I said before... I didn't know...

Will you forgive me? I didn't consider your feelings, just my own. I've been selfish and I regret my actions. Maybe if I had been a little more understanding... Maybe if I had thought a little more about you than about me...

But I get it now...

Kalas, if you're ready... maybe... could we give this another shot?

Neither one of us is going anywhere now... I think that if we try, maybe things will work out. We just need patience and understanding, right?

I'm relieved and delighted, but at the same time I'm so indescribably sad.

I don't think that relationships have to be forces that bind and torment people... It may feel like torture — that is a feeling I can understand — but maybe... we can exist and still live on guarding the loving memory of time spent together. I think... that I would rather risk a life of pain in loving and being loved by you, than waste one on "what ifs" and regret...

I wonder... if you think so, too?

And Kalas, do you really... I mean... really?

Can you... can we... Would you come back to Wazn?

Sincerely, Xelha


	34. emptiness

Xelha,

Hey. Thanks for listening. I almost thought that you wouldn't write back ever again. Guess I should have had more faith in you. Heh...

Xelha, after all that's happened, this is tough to say. It feels like my insides are being tied up in knots. But I have no other choice, so here goes nothing.

You've believed me from the very first moment you saw me. Maybe, I don't know. Maybe that belief is misplaced.

That's my opinion, at least. I got to thinking and I realized that I don't deserve you. I think I should just live my life quietly. Let go of the past, like you said.

You see... This is hard...

Melodia asked me to come back and live in the mansion with her. She asked me in secret, without the duke's knowledge. She told me that she would like to live a peaceful life together. The truth is, well, I don't really love her. But I'm wondering... if maybe this isn't the best thing to do.

I haven't decided yet... I mean, I still don't know what to do about us. But Xelha, if it comes right down to it, I don't think I'm the one for you. I keep trying to figure out why I couldn't make you happy. You can't say that you really care about someone like me all that much, can you? I've been nothing but a pain in the neck. You deserve better. You won't miss me after awhile.

Kalas


	35. so

Dear Kalas,

Kalas... all of this... I don't know if you know what you're doing to me.

You said that you cared about me, right? I believed you...

Why... Melodia...?

I don't understand... But I will always trust that my heart is right to love you. I want you to know that. We share something, Kalas... It was fate that the two of us could have met in this world... If we hadn't, things would be so different, wouldn't they? If I had never cared for you, and never looked upon your face... where would we be now?

Please, Kalas... Please listen to me. Don't go to Melodia. It is a lie to say that I won't care. This can't be it... this can't be the end. Our story can't end this way — it's too fast, too soon — we never even had a chance...

If she is just a way to make your heart die, then you are running away from real happiness, both mine and yours. Just give me one chance...

Yours, Xelha


	36. come

Xelha,

Listen, I'm sorry.

We had a lot of good times together, huh? I won't forget. I want to say thanks for everything.

I mean, you're right. If the six of us hadn't traveled together, the world wouldn't have been saved. It was my fault that the world needed saving in the first place, but... You guys were there for me.

But the world doesn't need saving anymore. No one needs saving anymore.

Maybe I am running away, though. Maybe I am a coward. But I think it'll be okay. You won't love me forever.

I wanna say goodbye now. Tonight, Melodia and I are going to talk to Duke Calbren about me moving back in. Melodia wants me to live in my old room from before. I won't mind after awhile. And Gramps won't either, I guess.

But, really, thanks for everything. I don't think I'll ever be able to forget you.

Kalas


	37. again

Dear Kalas,

This is finally it, isn't it...?

I never thought that all these years would come to an end. I write these words and my hand begins to shake. I... I don't care anymore. I'll be perfectly — yes, perfectly honest... Once again, you can't hear me, and I have to cry in the dark...

Here as we stumble through the last few steps of our journey - here at the end of the road - can I really say that I've matured, that I'm no longer the girl I once was? As I look back across time I can see the truth...

I understand now how many of my imaginings were real and how many were lies. It makes me shake my head. The very first time you wrote to me, you knew of my love and pain, and you were as afraid as I. But you let yourself get in the way. I couldn't understand that. I guess I was too naïve.

But the truth's been driven into me, slowly these past few years. I am abandoned... though I'm no longer afraid. My beliefs are in tatters, but they remain sacred. I find that our words have fallen away as useless.

These letters have taken us far, haven't they? Even with things the way they are now, I can't say that I regret meeting and knowing you in this way. I feel a little betrayed, and sad of course... But I'll continue to believe in you. I can't change the past we share now... I don't know that I want to change it.

And no matter what... the future lies ahead, still untouched... I could fight for you, to get you back... But I'm just so tired. All the time I spent waiting is wasted. Years, gone.

Now I just have to keep waiting, but by myself, on my own time... I'll rest, and wait for my vision of you until the end. For now, I need to look back and try to figure out what went wrong.

Kalas... the thing that went wrong...

Please listen to me, Kalas, just this one last time. Maybe you never quite understood what this love is, what it means... When I say that it never stops... and gives ceaselessly... gently, honestly... I'm telling the truth. Even when it has nothing more to offer, it falls down and offers up its life. It is earnest...

So even though you say that I won't... Yes, I will love you forever. As long as I am on this earth. I will have faith and wait for you here, alone, in my icy castle. The doubts that came to me along our journey have vanished, so I won't hesitate any longer... I need saving, but even though you will never come, I will wait.

For you are _my_ reason for living.

Xelha


	38. this

Xelha,

It's been a long time since you sent me your last letter. Sorry I didn't reply sooner.

I moved back into the mansion recently. It's kinda nice to be here again, sometimes...

The, uh, weather's nice, isn't it? Heh... Yup, real nice.

I'm doing pretty good. And I was wondering how you were, too. It's been weird with this silence. Suddenly I have all this free time on my hands...

I thought that I wouldn't write to you anymore. But I couldn't help it... I waited, and weeks passed. Months. Something didn't feel quite right.

Man... It's funny how many things I want to say to you now. I thought that I would be able to let go. I guess I'm just not that strong.

Yeah... well...

See ya.

Kalas


	39. way

Xelha,

Now this is weird... All of a sudden I'm the one writing letters and you're the one ignoring me. Funny, huh?

I guess I deserve it though. I need to figure out what I want... I can't keep changing my mind on you, I guess. I'm sorry... Really.

Okay. I've decided that I am just going to decide what to do with my life and get it over with! You ready for this?

What I dedicate my life to...

From here on out...

With no turning back...

Well...

Damn, I don't even know.

But don't worry; I'm not going to say something dumb, because I don't want to be a jerk anymore. I just want... I want... What the heck do I want? Why can't I decide? What's wrong with me? It's like every time I go to write what I'm feeling, my hand cramps up, or the pen runs out of ink, or my mind goes blank, or... you get the idea.

So, anyway, I forgot to ask. Whatcha been up to? I've been wondering. It's like we've been cut off from each other ever since we said goodbye. And I know that that's what goodbyes are all about, but it still feels like it shouldn't be this empty...

It's like... This is it, huh?

The end.

You know...

I've been looking to the future, too. You mentioned the future in your last letter.

I don't know how it's gonna be, though. And I keep wondering what would happen if I had got together with Xelha, Ice Queen of Wazn. Would that really make you happy? Would that make me happy?

...Would that make me king!? Now that's a scary thought...

Heh... Xelha...

I'm starting to wonder, just a little bit, if I made a mistake... Things could have been so different. If I had stayed with you in Nekton, where would we be today? Maybe I'd be living in Wazn, with my very own pair of kitten mittens. Seeing your smile every day...

You know... the more I think about it, the more I think that I really did things wrong. I don't know how I let you go.

Well...

That's all.

Kalas


	40. for

Xelha,

Kalas here. How're you? I don't know why, but my chest sure hurts. It feels all... jittery.

I just got back from the courtyard. Did I ever tell that we had a nice, big garden in the courtyard in back? Must've slipped my mind. Anyway, I was just out there taking a walk. Moonlit forests remind me of you for some reason. But it's not like I was out there just because I wanted to be thinking of you or anything! Nothing like that.

I was out there because... I had a rock in my shoe. I just needed to get it out, so I sat down on one of the benches and was sort of looking around. It's pretty in there, with little pink flower buds sprinkled all over, and great blue blossoms leaning over 'em. I don't waste time staring at flowers usually, I just happened to notice.

Anyway, after I got the rock out of my shoe, I went over to pick one of the pink flowers. I was standing there holding it between my fingers, when I finally decided it was getting late and turned to leave.

And guess who I bumped into. It's funny... Melodia had been there all along.

There I was holding a flower — and what choice did I have? — it would have been weird if I didn't give it to her. She was happy enough to take it.

So we got to talking and sat down on the bench again. She was acting strange; maybe because of having too little to eat at dinner or not enough sleep or something. She kept staring at me. Her cheeks were flushed, but she said that she felt fine...

I really don't think that she was feeling fine. The night air must've been getting to her, because she started leaning against me. I was thinking, _Huh...__ Is she okay? _But then, she thought it would be a good idea to startle me again.

She whispered, really quietly, "Oh... Kalas... What if we got _married_...?"

Yeah. What the heck!

I didn't know what to say, so I didn't say anything. Then she put her hand on mine, and looked at me. I had to look away.

Marriage.

...Marriage!

What am I supposed to think? Melodia's my friend, almost like my sister, but I don't want to be with her that way! I already have someone else, even though I screwed up. The way I see it... you promised me that you would never leave me. And then I left you. You told me that you would be faithful. And I crushed you.

I'm starting to get it now... I made a mistake... I see it now when I look at Melodia. She's a good girl, don't get me wrong. I care about her. But it's not... deep... it's not a need... I'm still the same old me, with or without her.

But she wants me all the same, and I figure that it's no use turning back now. I'm kind of tired, too, Xelha. And her expression was so eager. I had to finally meet her eyes. When I did, she said my name and gazed at me. That's when I started to get that uncomfortable jumpy feeling in my chest. I thought she'd kiss me or something, so I turned away and started talking.

It sounds like we're going to meet with Duke Calbren about it later and see what he says. Melodia was happy with that idea — she went back inside when we decided on it. She took the flower with her... I think she put it in her hair. I'll probably never see it again.

So I stayed in the courtyard a little longer (I found a whole lot of rocks in my other shoe) and wondered where my life was headed. I got tired of that pretty soon, and came back in here. I feel drained, Xelha. I'm worn out. When are you going to write to me again? I'd probably feel better if I heard from you. Just one more letter. But you're not going to send one... are you? Hah... I thought not.

I guess life's gonna be different from now on.

Married to Melodia... Wish me luck?

Kalas


	41. me

Xelha,

I'll be leaving in a few minutes. I'll get on a boat, cross the Ocean, and by the end of today I'll have seen you again. Don't know whether you'll have me or turn me away, but I'm going with no high expectations nonetheless.

I'm leaving my home here in Mira. I don't think I'll ever return. Once I finish writing what I need to tell you, I'll lock the door here in my old home for the last time and say goodbye to Gramps and Fee. I'm able to do that now, thanks to you.

I can't explain this feeling, though... It's weird. So much has happened during my life, so much pain... That I'm still standing is a miracle. I should be dead. I should have died with Fee, or been killed as a traitor, or thrown myself off a cliff or something by now. But...I met all of you guys. You and Gibari and everyone were landmarks in my life, and just when I thought I couldn't hold out any longer, you guys reached out your hands and saved me.

The one who reached the farthest and the longest... You. You're incredible, Xelha. I don't know anyone who can compare to you. I didn't see it at first, but once I did, why couldn't I accept it? I was afraid and stupid and blind, and even through all that you were there. Why?

I don't know — maybe you were right about destiny. Maybe we were supposed to be together from the very start.

Maybe it's just you... Your love is just staggering. How could you...?

You know, Duke Calbren first placed only nine letters in my hands, and I didn't even know anything about a tenth one. When Melodia and I went to him the other day he told me to reconsider being with you, while handing me a final piece of mail. It was the fourth letter you ever sent to me.

Xelha, every line... you confessed everything to me, you were willing to bare your deepest emotions... I've done nothing but abuse that faithfulness and poison that love... I want to make it up to you. I'll come crawling back, if only you'll look at me.

It was the first time I had read those words, but I won't forget them. You've won me over, Xelha, and this time for good. Whether you throw me out of your doors or take me in, I think that I could risk anything for you now. We're bound together, for better or worse, until death.

Hmmm...I'm getting nervous now. I want to see you again, but who knows what will happen? Who knows the direction my life will take now? I look over at my bags on the floor, and I extinguish the candle at my desk. The smoke won't remain long. Neither will I.

I don't plan on giving this letter to you when I arrive at your palace. I want to keep this for me, to remind myself of what a moron I've been. Maybe I'll keep it with my winglet. Maybe you'll read it someday. Who knows?

Well, here I go. I'm not afraid to let go anymore. This is it. With love like this, how can I have any regrets?

I'll be seeing you soon. Wait for me.

Kalas


	42. The

To the highly respected Duke Calbren of Balancoire

And the various members of his court:

This humble assembly of Kaffaljidhma

Requests the honor of your presence

At the marriage of its blessed daughter

Queen Xelha of Wazn

To

Kalas of Mira

Sunday, the twelfth of March

At half past two o'clock

Kaffaljidhma Castle Courtyard

On the Island Nation of Wazn


	43. end

Dear Queen Xelha,

It has been several years since I last wrote to you. Much has happened in that span of time; you, more than most, can attest to this fact. I hope that you have been well, though, despite the many emotional turns that you have taken.

But I am satisfied to say that you must be content now. Your tremendous courage in waiting so long for him speaks volumes. Although he sometimes seems to be a lost and meandering soul, you were able to lead him to the path of happiness. I cannot but admire your perseverance.

Though it pains me, I believe that Melodia never could have given him that kind of pure love. She wanted to belong to him and demonstrate her gratitude, but I am not sure whether she will ever gain the maturity to do so. Yet, to say the very least, she has come quite far and has a bright future ahead of her. I thank all of you for this.

As for Kalas, I could do nothing but flat-out refuse him. You can imagine the shock I received when the two of them approached me with their plan... I took him aside and explained to him that he ought to think about you and your feelings. I have wronged you before, Queen Xelha, but I believe that I was truly able to redeem myself that day; the boy evidently took my words to heart.

And at long last, I received word of your intentions. I plan to attend the wedding ceremony, but I am afraid that Melodia will not be present. You do understand. She was rather put out when she was informed that Kalas would be leaving for Wazn and has been in a depressed state since. But do not fear! Though she is my beloved granddaughter and dearer to me than any other living being, I honestly believe that in this respect your suffering has been quite greater than hers. Therefore, it is rewarding to know that you and the boy have finally gotten together.

I wish you the best of luck and happiness in your life as the king and queen of Wazn. Respect him, and remember to enjoy yourself. If anything ever comes up, please contact me, as I would do anything to make up for being the deceiver I was.

Duke Calbren


	44. Good

Dearest Kalas,

What to say? Fifty years since the last letter, fifty years since you proposed to me. So much has happened in that time, and it seems so very long ago that you first stepped foot on this secluded island. That day, many decades ago... still so vivid in my memory...

We waded out into the Ocean's rippling water, young lovers with the moonlight in our eyes and cool wind to soothe the glow in our cheeks. Well, at least the glow in _my_ cheeks. You laughed at me — your smile and the gentle composure of your voice and my fingers entwined in yours, it's forever locked in my mind. Oh, I do sound silly, don't I? Such faraway days... I touch the ring on my hand now and wonder if it wasn't all a dream.

But it wasn't. Here I linger at your gravestone, withered, old, and faded, staring at the name engraved in stone and not quite believing it. It's ironic, somehow, that you would go before me; you, who worried so that I would fly away.

You... I would never leave you. Snowdrifts gather on your tomb, and I have to brush snowflakes from the flowers our daughter and granddaughter placed there this morning. All of us, even the servants and the people, miss you terribly. Though you never thought you would be, you were a good leader and an earnest father. I'm proud to say that you stood by my side.

Yet we can't forget that all the way from the very beginning it was a long journey. I couldn't get you to notice me, at first. I wanted to hold you so much it almost hurt... It's a good thing I didn't give up; otherwise the palace halls would be empty of giggling voices. Hehe... We built a good life together, I have to say. I don't regret a moment of it.

I found the last letter you wrote to me in the chest beneath our bed. I wonder why you never told me or showed me. I never knew how you felt, except for those few letters of self-doubt, until you just showed up at the palace one day. Back then I was still mad at you, thinking that somehow you were toying with me again, but of course you left me weak and helpless with just the sound of your voice. I couldn't help but let you into my heart again. We spent many days together, at first shy and guilty, but soon glad to be in love. Then we wed, and later on we had our precious baby daughter...

She's grown up with a child of her own now. Remember her wedding? It was just like ours, the courtyard lawn shining with fresh-cut ice sculptures, the ceremony glistening in white snow... She wore my wedding dress and looked beautiful. How it seems like only yesterday that she was just a child perched on your knee and clinging to your neck.

We never showed her our letters, did we? Looking back with the eyes of an old woman, I must say that our little affair was rather melodramatic. But we really had something special... Once we overcame our fears, we got along alright... We got along just fine. But now you're gone...

This letter, and your last one, will be buried with me when I depart from this world too. I'm not afraid to leave; I'm just going to be with you. The aching in my bones tells me that winter is upon us more clearly than the calendar does. Will it be this year, or the next? I feel the cold without your touch, but my heart is strong and warm. I won't die just yet, because your memory lies by my side on frigid nights, and squeezes my hand when my lungs begin to tighten. Do you miss me as much as I do you? The sickness chafes at my soul, but I will not yield. I breathe because of you.

I wanted to thank you for the beautiful life that you helped me live. Saving the world, loving each other, and finally settling down... I wrote so many letters to you back when I was young, that I thought it would be best to say my final goodbye in written words, too. I don't have to worry about choking up or trembling; I can just tell you what I feel. So these teardrops aren't of sadness, but rather of sweet remembrances. You were a blessing, my love, and I hold your memory dear. I will live today with hope and your spirit in me. I thank you and I will never forget.

I love you, Kalas. Goodbye.

Sincerely Yours, Xelha


	45. bye

Papers lie scattered across her desk, all the rough drafts and unspoken words shoved aside; his letters are tucked safely into the drawers below. This quiet place, with its small window and long, twilight shadows is the closest thing she has to him. It beckons her to stay, but at last the sun sets and the time comes to rest her pen.

The confession has been declared — her journey is at its end. The dreams are gone, replaced long ago by patience and a quiet peace. It is no small wonder that she is hesitating and unable to depart. She lingers on alone, pale in the moonlight, sad that it is over. At last, she slowly turns to depart.

The tower's window is open. Snowflakes drift in and find a place on the papers to rest and shimmer, then suddenly melt and stain her letter.

_May Time, ever fleeting, forgive us...__ We __who__ have forsaken our song, and buried our future..._

_...The End..._

* * *

It's over.

It's finally over.

Wow.

Well then...

Now that you've finished it, go read this story again. Please.

You'll see things differently, I think. Maybe you'll see what I was trying to do. It wasn't a story that I was writing, right? I was collecting a _history_.

I did my best to document the romance of this couple by presenting their (and the duke's) letters. This style was unique for me because I was able to understand the characters in a new way (as humans), and perhaps able show their relationships a little bit more deeply than if I had used another method. It was pretty eye-opening for me to actually see Xelha's tears and hear her despair, just as it was incredible watching Kalas finally confess his fears. Maybe it was just me, but I've never been able to connect with the characters this much before.

I hope you'll get something out of this story. I know I did.

Now I'd like to thank all of you for reading for so long. You really didn't have to, but you _did_, and I appreciate that. Your thoughtful and amusing reviews also made this worthwhile... I was able to endure the past few months because of you guys...

And I want to especially thank Strawberry Eggs. She wrote some amazing reviews and also beta read the last third of this story. Thanks for the input, Strawberry!

Last but not least, I'd also like to thank the makers of Baten Kaitos for characters like Xelha (who is pathetic and cute and lovesick), Kalas (who needs to learn how to do the right thing), Duke Calbren (who is a closet matchmaker, haha), and Melodia (who needs therapy). Without them, this story wouldn't be here.

Whether you leave now with a "good riddance" or with a smile on your face, I want to thank you. Honestly, I've never enjoyed writing a story this much before. Hope I've been able to make a contribution to the BK community somehow... And I hope you enjoyed yourselves.

Once again, thanks everybody.

Sincerely Yours, FFG


End file.
